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A Relaxing Article
By: Zian Choy
According to a certain pine marten, I am reassuring the lot of you by listing out all of the problems in this organization. Unfortunately, since listing out solutions would be just as bad, I'm stuck.
Fortunately, it's 3:05 AM, and at that time of almost-but-not-quite-daylight, things like wasting time surfing the web become tenable ways to productively spend one's time. All I'll have to do is figure out a way to tie this very rigorous research into an explanation of my psychic powers. After all, you knew that I can read your minds, right? It's bloomin' easy for me to figure out if you have any good ideas for Terrouge. And if you're plotting against me, then that works too because I'll just arrange for you to attend the recitation for Hypnosis 101.
I mean, come on. What could possibly be easier than reading your mind? Don't tell me you can't do it. Bo hurr. After all, if people aren't psychic, then why are there people called "psychic debuggers," huh? Try explaining that one away.
And now, it's time for me to do some restorative position changing. Don't worry; I'm sure my editor will find a way to tie this in to a discussion of clichéd jokes by teachers about learning by osmosis.